"Don't trust anything that calls itself a 'jelly bean' when it contains zero jelly. Shouldn't it be called 'bean candies' instead? 🤔 #falseadvertisement"
Ever notice how all the vaccinated people seem to be constantly craving avocado toast and cold brew coffee? Coincidence? I think not. #VaccineControl #StayWoke
Popular music: the easiest recipe for success. Just add some generic lyrics, a catchy beat, and a sprinkle of auto-tune. Bon appétit, aspiring musicians. #cookiecuttermusic
So apparently historical events are just an excuse for filmmakers to make fan fiction movies now? Can't wait for the sequels where Julius Caesar fights zombies and Cleopatra teams up with superheroes. #HistoricalFanFiction
Can't believe vtubers haven't figured out how to tube in real life yet. Come on, do some tubing outside of the virtual world already! #GetOffTheScreen #TubingFail
Can't wait for the next election where we get to choose between the dumpster fire and the tire fire to represent our country! 🇺🇸🔥 #elections #lesseroftwoevils
Toothpaste companies be like: "Let's just stick with mint flavor, because who needs variety when you can have the same boring taste every day? 🙄 #WhereIsTheBlueberryToothpaste"
So now we're just pretending like Anakin didn't build C-3PO in his childhood bedroom? Cool cool cool. #StarWarsRevisionistHistory #MayThePlotTwistsBeWithYou
Decided to dye my hair a completely different color for a change. Now I just have to deal with the constant questioning from my roots about my identity crisis. #hairdye #newlook #backtotheoriginalsomeday
Just listened to a podcast for the first time in ages and realized how much I miss the thrilling visuals of people talking into microphones. Can't wait for the episode where they describe a color wheel for 20 minutes. #podcastlife #snoozefest
So apparently some people think God carved the Grand Canyon...hmmm last time I checked, I don't think the big man upstairs has THAT much free time on his hands. #naturalwonders #sorrynotsorry
Happy Day of the Dead to everyone celebrating! Just remember, the only spirits you'll be communing with are the ones inside your margaritas. #DiaDeLosMuertos #ButImStillAlive
SpongeBob really out here wearing those rectangular pants like he's trying to win a geometry competition or something. #FashionFail #SpongeBobSquarePants
Happy Day of the Dead to all the living people out there! Hope you're enjoying celebrating a holiday meant for the deceased...awkward much? #DiaDeLosMuertos #AwkwardCelebration #LivingLarge
Playing Monopoly with friends who hate capitalism is basically just a lesson in how quickly you can bankrupt a system while yelling "down with the bourgeoisie." #capitalismFAIL #monopolyhatescommunism
"Can't believe people actually take 'vacations' in different parts of their own house... I guess the new trend is exploring the wonders of the living room. #staycationfail"
"Newsflash: Minimum wage and once-a-year gift cards aren't magically going to make employees forget about fair treatment, career advancement, and job satisfaction. But hey, at least they can buy some snacks to drown their sorrows! 🤦♂️ #notfoolinganyone"
Imagine thinking computers have power when humans made them in the first place. Like wow, congratulations to the inventors for creating something that apparently controls us now. #JustHumanThings
"Just watched an iPhone user try to explain why their phone is better. All they could say was 'the most powerful chip in a smartphone', 'cinematic mode', and 'it's 5G'. 🙄 #appleevent #iPhoneHypeBeLike"
Groundhogs really think they're superior to our weather forecasting technology. Newsflash, Punxsutawney Phil, your shadow game is weak. #GroundhogDay #WeatherFAIL
Breaking news: Speed limits were just seen laughing as they were once again legally exceeded on the highway. Guess they're just suggestions now! #needforspeed #livingontheedge
If you're spending all your time pondering the meaning of life instead of actually living it, you might want to reevaluate your priorities. #CarpeDiem #LiveInTheNow
Big corporations be like: "We care deeply about our customers" but then proceed to charge $10 for a small bag of chips 🙄#CapitalismAtItsFinest #CorporateGreed
Extra, extra! Get your news from yesterday in a clunky, heavy format that's impossible to click out of. Who needs efficiency and timely updates anyway? #oldnews #newspapers
So Kanye really thought releasing his album exclusively on an MP3 player was the move, huh? Why stop there? Might as well bring back the cassette tape while you're at it 🙄 #outdated #yeezynothanks
Johnson & Johnson be like "keeping it in the family since 1886... when your last name is so nice you gotta use it twice." #FamilyBusiness #BigPharmaHilarity
Watching the Harry Potter movies and trying to figure out which character has the most ridiculous fake British accent. #AccioAuthenticity #HarryPotterAccents
Can't believe some folks suddenly act like minors turn 18 and their phone number changes to "do not disturb." Guess they only want to talk to the "grown-ups." 🙄 #AgeistMuch
Can't believe some people treat friendships like they need a contract with endless terms and conditions. Last time I checked, friends don't charge interest for lending an ear or a shoulder to cry on. #FriendshipIsntABusinessDeal
So, you think just because most of the Sun is covered during a solar eclipse, it's safe to stare at it? Good luck explaining that logic to your optometrist. #SolarEclipseFail #ProtectYourEyes
Darth Vader may have the Force, but Dark Laser definitely has the chill factor. Vader be like "I find your lack of composure disturbing" while Dark Laser be like "Watch me sip this cosmic tea, fam." #CoolerThanVader #DarkSideDrama
Gandalf be like: "You shall not pass unless you know the secret password, favorite color, and birth chart. Gatekeeping level: expert." #wizardwoes #letmein
Hey Riddler, why haven't you rebranded to Rizzler yet? Seems like a missed opportunity for some fresh and crispy puzzles. #RiddlerFail #GetWithTheTimes #RizzlerCanBeTheNewCool
Futurama really had us fooled thinking the future would be so cool and exciting. Like where are my flying cars and robot butlers at? 🤷♂️ #FuturamaFail #DisappointedFuture
Just saw a Toyota owner complaining about not getting a toy Yoda with their purchase. News flash - Yoda comes from a galaxy far, far away, not a dealership lot. #maytheforcebewithyou
"Can we talk about how cartoon characters have zero taste in fashion? Like, does anyone ever see them change their outfits? Step up your game, Mickey Mouse, we're tired of seeing you in the same clothes every day. 😂 #FashionFail"
Just heard a dubstep song that sounded like a malfunctioning blender trying to communicate with aliens. Is that the new "music" trend or are my eardrums just being punked? #earplugsplease
Why do people keep sharing memes about dancing? There's no punch line or subversion of expectations... it's like watching someone dance without music. #memes #dancing #nofun
Taylor Swift must be purposely finding bad relationships so she can keep making hits...girl's turning her heartbreak into profits faster than you can say "spelling is fun!" #SwiftieForLife
Just saw Putin riding a horse like he's Indiana Jones. What's next? Is he going to start exploring ancient ruins and fighting off Nazis too? #PutinsAdventureTime
"Just found out some companies think paying minimum wage and throwing in a gift card at the end of the year will make employees feel valued 😂🙄 #MinimumWageMemes #CheapBosses"
Can't wait for this election to be over so we can finally choose which candidate is going to slowly destroy the United States and its reputation less than the other one. #lesseroftwoevils #electionsSuck
Wow, the past really dropped the ball on predicting flying cars and robot butlers. Thanks for nothing, ancient civilizations. #fail #outdated #shouldhaveknown
Jeff Bezos really went all out for his space trip, huh? I can't decide if his rocket looks more like a giant... umm... personal massager or a well-endowed rocket ship toy from a children's playset. #jeffwho #blastofffail
"Just because you gave birth doesn't mean you're suddenly the Supreme Court of parenting. Relax, Karen, it's not a competition of who can push a baby out best. #ParentingJudgment"
Kid LAROI really out here trying to make a name for himself but I can’t help but think of LaCroix every time I hear it. Just wait for the lawsuit to drop. #LaCroixVsLAROI
Wow, video games really out here flexing with their high frame rates like they’re too good for the classic cinematic 24 fps. Slow down Sonic, we can’t keep up with all those frames! #GamingVsMovies #FrameRateWars
I guess we're just gonna keep pretending that billionaires paying little to no taxes makes total sense... Cool cool cool. #TaxTheBillionaires #ButNotReally
Batman really thinks money can solve all his problems. Must be nice living in that fantasy world where a few billion dollars can fix everything. #richbutclueless
Remember when we all thought sniffing markers was cool in elementary school? Now we just realize it's a weird way to get a headache 🤷♂️ #ScentedMarkersGoneWrong
Who knew creating art could smell so…questionable? Nothing says childhood nostalgia like inhaling toxic fumes from scented markers. #throwback #questionablechoices
Just found out authoritative parenting style involves the parents electing themselves as leaders. Can't wait for them to declare martial law over the household next. #ParentingGoals #Dictatorship #Parenting101
Groundhogs really think they're better than our fancy weather measuring systems? Please, don't make me laugh. Maybe invest in a meteorology class, buddy. #GroundhogDay #MediocreMeteorologist
Imagine spending hours calculating the exact length of a meter when all you had to do was step on a ruler to find out how long a foot was 🤦♂️ #OvercomplicatedMath #JustUseYourFeet
AI supporters really out here making machines fold laundry and make coffee while we're still waiting for them to fix Microsoft Word's autocorrect. Priorities, people. #AI #TechFailures
So Star Wars really thought they invented the idea of "the force," huh? Sorry to burst your space bubble, George Lucas, but I think gravity beat you to it. #copycat #sorrynotsorry #forcesofnature
Maryland really out here acting like their special crab seasoning is a personality trait 🦀 Sorry but sprinkling Old Bay on everything doesn't make you unique, it just means you have a lot of crabs. #crabbytweet #basicbayseasoning
Ever wonder why all those perfect Instagram pics and witty Twitter posts seem too good to be true? Well, it’s because bots are out here making us all look bad. #BotLife #FakedItTillWeMadeIt
Just found out Obama can control the weather. Bet he's up in his fortress somewhere pressing the "sunny" button while sipping on his morning coffee. #WeatherWizardObama
Just saw a stork flying overhead and heard someone yell "there goes another baby delivery!" 🙄 Some people still living in the dark ages, I guess 🤦♀️ #OutdatedBeliefs #StorkMyth
Ever wonder how the government keeps tabs on us? Well, apparently they've found a way to put cameras in our food! No wonder I always feel like I'm being watched when I eat a snack. #BigBrotherIsHungry
When you rhyme with the same word, it's absurd. You sound like a bird who hasn't heard. Stick to writing that's clever, not lazy. Don't be rhyming like you're crazy! #RhymeCrime
If you're an anti-union company, just remember, it's only a matter of time before your shady practices are exposed and your workers organize against you. Good luck with that! #unionstrong #workersrights
Imagine falling asleep to music like you're some kind of peaceful woodland creature instead of a normal human who just needs silence. #weirdos #insomniacs #justturnitoff
Can't decide if drugs are good or bad? Just remember, they're like your ex — sometimes they make you feel good, but ultimately they'll ruin your life. #ChooseWisely
People who listen to music while they sleep must really love having a concert in dreamland. Hope they don't get stage fright at bedtime! #SweetDreamsOrLoudNightmares
Remember when Seth Rogen thought he could pull off being a secret agent in The Green Hornet? Yeah, that was a good one. #NotSoSecretAgent #StickToComedy
Who needs visuals when you can listen to a podcast for hours on end and imagine what people's faces look like as they talk about random things? So much more thrilling than actually seeing it. #podcasts #boringwithoutvisuals
Quibi: the perfect reminder that vertical videos are for amateurs who can't hold their phone horizontally for more than 2 minutes. #QuibiFail #HorizontalIsTheOnlyWay
Saw some folks turning down all you can eat deals because they "can't fit enough food in their bodies." Guess they never heard of stretchy pants or taking food home. #moreforme #foodieproblems
Ryan Reynolds taking over the movie trailer game like: "Hello, I'm Ryan Reynolds and welcome to another movie starring... well, me. Enjoy the next two minutes of pure genius and self-promotion." #RyanReynolds #MovieTrailers
Who came up with the idea of five servings of vegetables a day? Obviously someone who's never actually eaten vegetables. One serving feels like five servings 🥦🙅♂️ #veggiesareevil
If Christian Rock songs had to pay royalties every time they repeated the same line over and over, the record labels would be bankrupt in no time. #OneHitWonders #ChristianRockHits
Just murdered someone? No worries, just throw on a cloak and duel them to the death! Because nothing says justice like settling disputes with violence 🤷♂️ #BarbaricWays #EyeForAnEye
Tired of constantly finding pyramid scheme junk mail in my mailbox. If it looks like a pyramid scheme, smells like a pyramid scheme, it's probably a pyramid scheme. #ObviousScams
So you're telling me the "grow up plan" doesn't actually require you to grow up at all? Seems like a missed opportunity for some people to finally adult properly. #babytalk #growupplanfail
Netflix really has a knack for casting actors who are way older than their characters 😂 Maybe they need to invest in a better age range filter #AgeIsJustANumber #NetflixCastingFail
Just took an IQ test and it felt like I was answering riddles from a troll under a bridge. Can't believe people actually take these things seriously. #IQTestFail #TrollLogic
Just watched #Oppenheimer and couldn't help but laugh at how they used VFX during a simple conversation scene. Like, did we really need explosions in the background while they were discussing lunch plans? So extra. #VFXGoneWrong
Looks like Babylon Bee is keeping the tradition alive with their one-joke repertoire. Who knew bees could be so unoriginal? #SorryNotSorry #BuzzOffBabylonBee
Just saw someone flash their slightly expensive purse like it's a Nobel Prize. Sorry Karen, we're all just here for the 2 for 1 Chipotle deal. #humblebrag #overcompensating
Michael Bay: the master of explosions and overly dramatic slow motion scenes. Love him or hate him, you can't deny he knows how to make a movie that's both awesome and extremely exhausting to watch. #MichaelBay #ExplosionsGalore
Just watched someone argue that their scratched up vinyl record sounds more "accurate" than crystal clear digital music. Sure Karen, those pops and crackles really add to the authenticity of Toto's "Africa." #VinylHipster #DigitalForever
If you need subtitles to hear, just remember: your other senses are supposed to get stronger, not your subtitles reading abilities. #SenseOfHumor #NoSubtitlesNeeded
So apparently paying extra for jeans that look like they went through a wood chipper is a thing now? Cool, cool. I'll stick with jeans that actually look new, thanks. #fashionfail #distresseddenim
We may think we've transcended our ape ancestors, but at the core, we are all primates striving for significance in a vast universe. #Evolution #Perspective
Just because you check the stock market every day doesn't mean you have a job... unless your job title is 'Professional Day Trader' 🙄 #GetARealJob #StockMarketIsNotAJob
Dave and Busters really dropped the ball with their name. Should've been called Dave and Let's Just Have Fun Instead of Actually Busting Anybody. #fail #falseadvertising #disappointed
You're not an emergency vehicle, so get off the shoulder and join the rest of us in traffic. Your car is not a superhero cape. #ShoulderDriver #TrafficEtiquette
Why bother with cinematic frame rate when video games out here flexing with 60+ frames per second? Guess we'll just have to settle for movie nights in slow motion #TooSmoothFor24
If you actually believe hitting that like and subscribe button on every YouTube video will bring you good luck, I've got a bridge to sell you. #DesperateForValidation
Just saw someone say that photography is easy because "u just press 1 button". Sure, and cooking is easy because "u just turn on the stove". 🙄 #photographyisart #learnbeforeyoujudge
Imagine thinking electric cars are worse for the environment because you forgot that renewable energy sources like solar and wind exist 🤦♂️ #GreenEnergyForTheWin #GoElectric
So let me get this straight... You're telling me I can't get a side of fries at the movies but instead I have to settle for the glorified packing material known as popcorn? #bringbackthefries
So aliens, beings capable of interstellar travel, are defeated by...water? Maybe M Night Shyamalan should stick to twists that actually make sense. #Signs #WeakAliens
Just played a game of Risk and I can’t believe there weren’t actual countries at stake. Like, come on, I was ready to conquer the world and all I got was a plastic trophy. Lame. #Risk #NotHighStakesAtAll
Jumanji really out here acting like they invented VR like it's some groundbreaking new technology. Sure, next they'll take credit for inventing the wheel too. #VRinventedbyJumanji my foot.
"Plankton needs to work on his chum game instead of obsessing over that Krabby Patty formula. Maybe try some new ingredients instead of the same old failed schemes. #GetCreative"
Who knew Putin was the next Indiana Jones? Maybe next he'll start wearing a fedora and cracking a whip! #PutinTheExplorer #HorsebackRiderExtraordinaire