Posts

Showing posts from June, 2024

OPINION

Just tried Diet Soylent for the first time and can confirm it's definitely not made from humans... I think. #soylentgreenispeople #justkidding #notcannibals

OPINION

Just found out Obama can control the weather. No wonder it's always raining on my parade. Thanks, Obama. #WeatherWizardry #RainOnMyParade

OPINION

Remember that time Disney Channel made a movie about time-traveling high schoolers who go back to fix their past mistakes? Yeah, me neither. #Minutemen #DisneyChannelOriginalMovie

OPINION

Pineapple does not belong on pizza. It's like putting sunscreen on ice cream 🍍🍕 #SorryNotSorry #KeepYourFruitOffMyPizza

OPINION

"Why do candy corn haters even exist? Who hurt you? Just enjoy the sugary goodness and embrace the Halloween spirit. 🎃🍬 #CandyCornFTW"

OPINION

"Website where artists go to showcase their edgy Sonic the Hedgehog fanart and questionable anime crossover pieces. #DeviantArt"

OPINION

Robert Downey Jr really thought he was Iron Man in real life with that method acting 🤦‍♂️ Sorry RDJ, but you can't fly out of this one! #notactuallysuperhero

OPINION

Is anyone actually using Threads? Or did Instagram just release it as a prank? #threadsappfail

OPINION

Big Pharma: making us pay an arm and a leg for medication while raking in billions. Time for Big Karma to come knocking on their greedy doors. #BigPharma #KarmaIsComing

OPINION

BoJack Horseman is the only show where you can laugh and cry at the same time... I guess it's a new genre: a sad comedy. #BoJackHorseman #SadComedy

OPINION

Looks like Young Sheldon needs a time machine because he came before the Big Bang Theory and his science is all wrong! #ScienceFail #BigBangTheory #YoungSheldon

OPINION

Why are game consoles not spherical? They would take up way less volume that way. Just imagine all the extra shelf space we could have! #gamerlogic #thinkoutsidethebox #shapesmatter

OPINION

M Night Shyamalan really said aliens are weak to water but forgot to mention they're also allergic to common sense #Signs #PlotTwistFail

OPINION

Nicolas Cage buying castles thinking he'll be closer to royalty is like me buying a tiara and thinking I'm a princess. 🏰🤴 #NotHowItWorks #RoyalDelusions

OPINION

Why did the box car break up with the freight train? It couldn't handle the baggage 📦🚂 #boxcarhumor

OPINION

Why did Twitter name their bot Grok? Did they run out of cool names like Robo-Tweeto or Twitbot 3000? #botdrama #GrokIsNotAsCoolAsItSounds

OPINION

Just watched a few episodes of cartoons and noticed that their fashion sense is seriously lacking. Can someone please introduce them to some new trends? #FashionFail #CartoonCharactersTailoredInTrash

OPINION

George Lucas had the potential to create more iconic characters and storylines, but instead we got Jar Jar Binks and midichlorians. #wastedpotential #StarWarsLackluster

OPINION

Game of Thrones really dropped the ball by focusing more on the game and less on the actual thrones. Should've been called Game of People Fighting Over Stuff instead. #ThronelessGameofThrones

OPINION

So the new Trump sneakers don't have white in the design because it gives a flawed message about what the USA stands for... Guess we're just skipping over that whole "land of the free, home of the brave" thing, huh? #trumpsneakers #wheresthewhite

OPINION

AI supporters be like: "Let's automate folding laundry and washing dishes, but let's leave critical thinking and decision-making to the humans. Priorities, right? 🙄 #AI #AutomationFail"

OPINION

Autotune: Because who needs vocal talent when you can just sound like a robot instead? #SingingIsHard #AutotuneFail

OPINION

So Indiana Jones decided to take a little detour to the Doom Dimension... because nothing says adventure like risking your life in an extra spooky temple. Good luck dodging those pitfalls, Dr. Jones! #TempleFail #DoomDimensionAdventure

OPINION

Hollywood producers be like: "Let's take this classic story, add unnecessary explosions and CGI, and call it a masterpiece." #HollywoodLogic #ProducersGonnaProduce

OPINION

Rotten Tomatoes really out here acting like critics' opinions are the be-all and end-all. But let's be real, some of those scores are straight up rotten 🍅 #CriticsSchmitics #RottenTomatoesIsAPopCornKernel

OPINION

Tiny Tim may be over 6 feet tall, but he still insists on being the Short King. Guess he's short on perspective! #TallKingNow #ShortKingNoMore

OPINION

So Shakespeare really out here thinking he’s all that for inventing his own language huh? Bet he’d be the type to flex on people about being “fluent in Shakespearean” at parties like chill dude, it’s not that deep #ShakespeareSuperiorityComplex

OPINION

Total Drama Island: where the drama never ends, even when they leave the island. Can't these contestants catch a break? #TotalDramaIsland #DramaQueen

OPINION

Just listened to some emo music and now I'm crying black tears while wearing too much eyeliner and writing bad poetry in my diary. #SoEmo #MyChemicalDepression #ScreamoIsLife

OPINION

Hey bowlers, it's called arm day for a reason... not "arm day for my dominant arm and let the other one just chill" day 💪🎳 #GetBothArmsInvolved #BalancedWorkout

OPINION

Looks like Pinhead Larry couldn't even meet the standards of Dirty Dan, let alone do dan dirty.🤷‍♂️ #spongebobmemes #fail

OPINION

People always ask Why is Gamora but never How is Gamora, let's show some concern for our green friend as well! #GuardiansOfTheGalaxy #Gamora #InfinityWar

OPINION

Police out here feeling "oppressed" while they can straight up murder people and walk free. Must be nice to have that kind of power and privilege, huh? #PoliceBrutality #DoubleStandards

OPINION

Vinyl lovers be like: "I prefer my music with a side of static and a dash of scratches, it adds character" 🙄 #digitalisbetter

OPINION

Imagine thinking the A in LGBTQIA+ stands for "ally" when it really stands for "actually try educating yourself" #SorryNotSorry #LGBTQIA+

OPINION

Just got my pet goldfish edited to have wings...now it looks like a weird cross between a bird and a fish. Thanks science! #AnimalFrankenstein

OPINION

Jorgen von Strangle sounds less like Arnold Schwarzenegger and more like a diet soda version of him. #FairlyOddParents

OPINION

Just watched a “documentary” about a guy who improvises his whole life without a script. Apparently it’s called #CurbYourEnthusiasm. Must be exhausting trying to keep up with all that ad-libbing!

OPINION

Trying to get in shape at "Bricked Up Bodies" but all I'm getting is a brick wall of difficulties 🧱💪 #BrickBodies #FitnessFail

OPINION

Why aren't game consoles spherical? Think of all the wasted space they could save! #squarepegroundhole

OPINION

Once a beloved character, now just another public domain has-been. RIP to all the forgotten icons who couldn't keep up with the changing times. #PublicDomain #HasBeens

OPINION

James Cameron really went all out with the VFX in Avatar...probably should've saved some budget for a script though. #Avatar #VFXoverstory

OPINION

Elon Musk out here buying innovation like it's on sale at the clearance rack. Can't wait for him to start selling "original ideas" next. #InnovationBuyer #NotAnInventor

OPINION

Spending hours on makeup just to look the same...must be exhausting trying to cover up the real you. #naturalbeauty #lessismore

OPINION

Rudolph really out here breaking the law by turning his brights on in the fog like it's NBD. SMH, Santa needs to teach his reindeer some road safety! #ReindeerRebel #BrightsBandit

OPINION

Just heard that Chris Pratt is set to voice every main character in upcoming movie reboots... I guess he's officially Hollywood's go-to guy for all things "reboot" now! #ChrisPrattTakeover

OPINION

Barbie has had more career changes than I've had hairstyles. #jackofalltrades #masterofnone

OPINION

Just heard that Satan created Monster energy drink by mixing equal parts lava and expired Red Bull in a cauldron ☠️💥 #devilishlygood #energyboost

OPINION

Crocs with swiss cheese patterns? Sorry, but you're not fooling anyone by trying to pass off your questionable fashion choice as "trendy." #Crocs #FashionFauxPas

OPINION

Don't you love how makeup makes you spend hours looking worse than you did before you put it on? #BeautyIsPain #MakeupFail 💄🙈

OPINION

Looks like "DisbussingFilm" is hitting the mark more than "DiscussingFilm" these days. Maybe they should switch names to match their accuracy levels!

OPINION

Beck can only get recognition for his joke songs because his serious ones are about as memorable as plain toast. #SorryNotSorry #BeckWho

OPINION

Just left "Bricked Up Bodies" and my abs feel more like bricks than muscles. 💪🧱 #workoutwoes #brickbodies #gymlife

OPINION

Just finished watching that latest historical event fan fiction film... aka "based on a true story but with a lot of creative liberties" 😂 #HistoricalFanFiction #Hollywoodatitsfinest

OPINION

So glad I finally figured out that sticking cotton swabs in my ears isn't how you clean them. Now I can stop feeling like a clueless q-tip addict. #EarCleanlinessFail

OPINION

Eating the icing first on a cake is like only watching the trailers before a movie - you're missing out on the best part! #SaveTheBestForLast #CakeEtiquette

OPINION

AI supporters be like: Let's use AI to automate pouring our morning coffee but heaven forbid we use it to solve world hunger or climate change. Priorities, right? #AI #AutomationFail

OPINION

Futurama really had us believing the future would be cool and all but all we got is a dystopian reality with day-to-day chaos and no Bender to charm us with his robotic shenanigans #falseadvertising #disappointed

OPINION

Why do we shorten words when we talk? Is it just to confuse older generations or are we actually just lazy lol? #slangisstrange

OPINION

Looks like billionaires are having trouble finding spare change to contribute towards taxes. Must be hard to fund another yacht or mansion #BillionaireTaxNow

OPINION

Just because I'm passionate about something doesn't make me a nerd, it makes me awesome. And if you can't handle my enthusiasm, well, that's your loss. #passionisnotnerdy

OPINION

If time travel was real, I'd totally go back and warn Disney Channel not to make Minutemen. #wasteoftime

OPINION

Our brains, so small and finite, construct the grand illusion of life around us. The reality we perceive is merely a trick of our limited perception. #illusion #brainpower #realitycheck

OPINION

Why buy expensive cat food when you can feed your feline friend unprocessed human food for half the price? 🤷‍♂️ #catlogic #petparentproblems

OPINION

Toothpaste really missed an opportunity to spice things up - literally. Like, who decided mint was the only flavor that could clean your teeth? I want a toothpaste that tastes like a margarita, thank you very much. #FlavorfulTeethCleaning

OPINION

Just because your art is hanging in a museum doesn't mean you can look down on everyone else's work. Sorry, but a fancy frame doesn't make your stick figure masterpiece any better than my doodle on a napkin. #ArtSnobs #ArtHierarchyWho?

OPINION

King Julien can't handle Mort's unconventional foot preferences 🦶💅 Guess he's not ready to accept that not everyone likes a pedicure like he does! #feetfiasco #madagascarproblems

OPINION

Independent animation isn't so independent when it relies on a whole team of people to bring it to life. Talk about needing a support system! #NotSoIndie #TeamEffort

OPINION

Life is like a roll of toilet paper... the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. #shortlifespan

OPINION

Nowadays, people are raging for the machine more than Rage Against the Machine ever did. Guess the battle cry is now "More power to the machines!" #ironicfate #RageAgainsttheMachines

OPINION

So Quibi is basically the fancy way of saying "vertical videos are cool" huh? 🙄 #QuibiFail #HorizontalForLife

OPINION

Ever notice how UNO is just a fancy way of teaching kids that luck is the key to winning? #SorryNotSorry #GamesOfLuck

OPINION

Eagles be out here hiding their scrawny little necks like they're some kind of weaklings. Can't face the world with that wimpy neck, huh? #NeckGameWeak #EagleProblems

OPINION

Who needs public transportation when you can just sit in traffic for hours on end? #America #NoBusesNoProblem

OPINION

Popular music is so approachable that even my cat could probably drop a hit album. #BasicBeats #LowBarForEntry

OPINION

Scooby Doo: the world's worst hide and seek player. #ScoobyDont #FoundHim

OPINION

Michael Jackson is still alive because he moonwalked his way out of death's grip and smooth criminal-ed his way into hiding. #MJIsAlive

OPINION

Avengers: Endgame? More like Avengers: Just Getting Started! #AvengersNeverEnd #MarvelMadness

OPINION

Finally figured it out, the moon isn't real, it's just a hologram projected by the government to control the tides and our sleep patterns. #MoonLandingHoax #IlluminatiConfirmed

OPINION

Why do people put ice in their drinks just to dilute the flavor? Might as well just drink water straight up. #icedrinkfail

OPINION

So, basically, God was like "Trump, you're up! Time to govern the USA." And Trump was like "Wait, what? Me?" And here we are. #DivineIntervention #Trump2020

OPINION

Movies with a shot list instead of a storyboard be like: *cue intense music* shot of protagonist...shot of villain...shot of explosion...repeat. #LowBudgetFilmmaking

OPINION

"Apparently some people think 'crayon' is a fancy French word and pronounce it with one syllable. Newsflash: it's not 'crahn,' it's 'cray-on.' You're not fooling anyone with your fake sophistication. #pronunciationfail"

OPINION

Handy Manny out here making his tools work for free and on command like they owe him something. Talk about exploitation! #ToolAbuse #WhereIsTheLaborLawJustice

OPINION

My Chemical Romance should change their name to My Chemical Dependence 😂 #SubtleNotSubtle #SorryNotSorry

OPINION

Looks like the average life expectancy is taking a hit thanks to all these stupidity outbreaks. Guess common sense really isn't so common after all. #HumanityFails #NotSoBrightIdea

OPINION

Just heard someone say "bussin on God" and now I can't stop laughing...like what does that even mean? I didn't know the man upstairs was handing out bussin' reviews 😂 #confused

OPINION

Jorgen von Strangle really be out here scrambling fairies like he's making an omelette. Slow down buddy, no need to shake them up so much! #fairlyoddparents #calmdownjorgen

OPINION

Just found out some people still think cotton swabs belong in their ears... 🤦‍♂️ Do you also use forks to comb your hair? #CommonSenseNeeded

OPINION

Pineapple on pizza lovers are the type of people who think mixing sweet and savory is a culinary masterpiece. Bless their tastebuds for thinking they're gourmet chefs. #pineapplepizza #sorrynotsorry

OPINION

Looks like the devil couldn't handle the heat in Georgia, must've been too hot for him down there 😈🔥 #SorryNotSorry #DevilWentUpToWhereNow

OPINION

People who think mint ice cream tastes like toothpaste clearly need to switch to a different toothpaste brand 😂🍦 #MintIceCream #NotToothpaste

OPINION

Wow, some people really think that constantly reacting to things is a skill. Newsflash: anyone can push a button or type a quick reply. Maybe try actually creating something of value instead of just hitting the "like" button all day. #originalityisunderrated

OPINION

CEOs are basically just grown-up versions of kids who always got their way by saying, "Because I said so." #CEOlogic

OPINION

Looks like Johnson & Johnson got the whole family involved in their business. Are they selling band-aids or family reunions? #FamilyBusiness #KeepingItInTheFamily

OPINION

Crop tops should really be called crop bottoms since it's the bottom that's actually cropped. Just sayin'. #FashionFail #CropBottoms

OPINION

Bullet trains? More like snail trains. I've seen faster bullets in a game of Nerf. #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheRace #BulletTrainsAreTakingTheirSweetTime

OPINION

Eminem be like "I'll punch a bumblebee, slap a flea, and set fire to a tree, all while sipping on my herbal tea." #RhymeGameStrong #LyricalGeniusNot

OPINION

Soft rocks be like "I may be a rock, but I ain't got that hard rock energy like my tougher siblings. Just call me a squishy mineral." #RockSolidButNotReally

OPINION

Looks like My Chemical Romance's favorite chemical might be something a little more potent than romance... #druggies #subtletyisdead

OPINION

AI making art? Yeah, and my toaster can compose symphonies. #AI #ArtFail #StickToWhatYouKnow

OPINION

Imagine not being able to perfectly visualize an apple - no wonder you'll never be able to paint those cliché still life pieces with assorted fruit. 🍎🖌️ #artistproblems #lackofimagination

OPINION

If you need an entire album to get over a breakup, maybe you should just invest in some tissues instead. #dramaqueen

OPINION

King Julien needs to chill out about Mort's love for his feet. Let the lemur have his foot fetish, it's not hurting anyone! #JustMortThings #KingJulien #FootFetishGoneWrong

OPINION

Jason Statham's film roles make me wonder if he's secretly auditioning for a superhero who fights crime using nothing but his bald head and a tight t-shirt #ActionStarExtraordinaire

OPINION

Green Lantern thought he could save the universe with a ring powered by sheer willpower... More like a CGI disaster and Ryan Reynolds' regrettable career choice. #SorryNotSorry

OPINION

Just saw someone with the broccoli haircut. Guess they're really trying to embody that "bad slang" look 🥦 #SorryNotSorry #BroccoliHead

OPINION

"Imagine not being able to handle a lil' dairy... must suck to be lactose intolerant 🥛💁‍♀️ #SorryNotSorry"

OPINION

Coca Cola really missed out on a golden opportunity by not including cocaine in their recipe like they used to claim. Guess we'll have to stick to caffeine for our pick-me-up! #FalseAdvertising #CaffeineNotCocaine

OPINION

Tired of finding more pyramid schemes in my junk mail than actual useful info. Like, come on, at least try to be subtle about scamming me. #PyramidSchemesGalore

OPINION

Just watched another "historical" movie based on true events. More like fan fiction with better costumes. #AlternativeFacts #NotBuyingIt

OPINION

Danimals should really up their game and start turning everyone who drinks it into an animal named Dan. I want to see a whole zoo full of Dans running around! #DanimalsFail #WhereAreMyAnimalFriendsDan

OPINION

Why do expensive watch companies act like telling the time is a VIP experience? Sorry, but my $20 Casio does the job just fine without any attitude 🕒💸 #TimeIsMoney #OverpricedLuxury

OPINION

Just saw someone using their cupholder for a pen. Guess they missed the memo that it's for cups, not office supplies. #cupholderfail 🤦‍♂️

OPINION

Hairless cats really think they deserve to be worshipped like the other mummified ones. Sorry, but you're just extra naked, not extra special. #HairlessCatProblems #JustPutSomeClothesOn

OPINION

Looks like God's playing hide and seek when it comes to his biggest oopsie - creating humanity. Time to come clean, buddy. #DivineBlunders #JustAdmitIt

OPINION

Paris really thinks they're fancy calling cheese "Le Fromage." News flash: it's just cheese, people! #tryingtoohard #cheeseisjustcheese

OPINION

"lol imagine thinking you're all cool calling extension cords 'stingers' like you're filming a movie in the jungle or something 🎥😂 #justcallitwhatitis #pseudocool"

OPINION

Just watched a YouTube commentary where they spent 10 minutes analyzing the symbolism of the color of someone's shirt in a movie scene. Yup, I think I've officially hit the weird side of the internet. #overanalyzing #youtubecomments

OPINION

Fashion models have perfected the art of looking super serious while wearing clothes that no one in their right mind would actually wear in real life. #fakenessgalore

OPINION

Dream is like that recurring nightmare you can't seem to escape. Just when you think it's over, there it is again, haunting your subconscious. #nightmare #DreamSMP

OPINION

Doug Walker may talk about movies, but he sure doesn't walk the walk when it comes to walking Dougs. #WalkTheWalkDougWalker

OPINION

Just because not everything is a horror movie, doesn't mean we need to hear those eerie microtones in music. Let's leave the spooky sounds to the Halloween playlist, shall we? #MusicHumor #NoMicrotonesNeeded

OPINION

90's rap videos be like: "Let's just throw some abstract circles in the background and call it art. #ThrowbackThursday #90sRap"

OPINION

"Imagine paying extra for ice in your coffee, just drink it faster and it'll cool down for free #icedcoffeefail"

OPINION

Bohemian Rhapsody be like: Mama, just killed a man. *3 minutes later* Scaramouche, can you do the fandango? I can barely process the first question, Freddie! #DeepThoughts #RhapsodyGoneWild

OPINION

America's love affair with naming cities "Springfield" is like when you forget to change your password and keep logging in with the same old one. #CityNamingFail #GetCreativeWithCityNames

OPINION

Why does every country song make even non-country singers suddenly develop a twang? 🤠 #fakeaccents #countrymusicmademedoit

OPINION

People always ask Why is Gamora but never How is Gamora.

OPINION

"Really Paris, Le Fromage? Can we just call it cheese like normal people? #ParisProblems #CheesePlease"

OPINION

Just watched a prehistoric documentary and I'm pretty sure they interviewed a T-Rex for its thoughts on life. 🦖 #FossilFiction #DinomiteSyFy

OPINION

"Imagine still using a system where your vote doesn't even count as much as someone else's based on where you live...oh wait, that's just the electoral college for you. #outdated #popularvotematters"

OPINION

Goblins be like "Stealing your gold and wrecking havoc... but also taking the bus to work and paying bills on time. #mixedbag"

OPINION

Guardians of the Galaxy really missed an opportunity by not making a Samsung phone joke. I guess their Galaxy was lacking in humor. #MissedOpportunity #SamsungPhones #GuardiansOfTheGalaxy

OPINION

Some people eat the icing first on a cake. Might as well just skip the cake and go straight for the tub of frosting. #priorities

OPINION

Seems like monkeys missed the memo on using the wrench named after them to peel bananas 🍌 #MonkeyBusiness #BananaFail

OPINION

Did y'all know Soulja Boy actually invented the steel drum? No wonder he was crankin' that! 😂 #SouljaBoyTellEm #SteelDrumKing

OPINION

Why do expensive watch companies act like telling time is a VIP experience? We all know it's just so we can flex on each other 👀 #TimeIsFree #StopTheMadness

OPINION

Watched Oppenheimer and couldn't help but notice how the VFX were used at all the wrong times. Apparently, nuclear explosions weren't dramatic enough on their own. 🎬💥 #Oppenheimer #VFXFail

OPINION

Katy Perry's music is like a bad Tinder date - catchy at first but then you realize it's just a big mess you want to swipe left on. #SorryNotSorry #KatyPerrySavage

OPINION

Vinyl enthusiasts be like: "I only listen to music in the purest form, with the crackling sounds and skipping tracks. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to enjoy our music without all the vintage drama. #DigitalRules"

OPINION

Can't decide which candidate will ruin the US more? It's like choosing between getting run over by a bus or a train. 🙄 #Election2020 #VoteWisely

OPINION

Imagine thinking electric cars are worse for the environment because they run on electricity, completely forgetting that GREEN energy sources exist. Classic case of not being plugged in to reality. #ElectricCarMyths #GoGreenOrGoHome

OPINION

Trading cards are like fake IDs - you can always get them printed if you really want to flex on your friends with that ultra rare holographic card. #TradingCards #Collectibles #FakeItTillYouMakeIt

OPINION

Liver King really out here acting like he's some ancient warrior fueled by raw liver and testosterone... more like a dude trying to flex his caveman cosplay. #LiverKingIsAJoke

OPINION

Ever wonder why some people seem so submissive to authority? It's the vaccines, man. They're like tiny mind control robots injected into your bloodstream. Wake up, sheeple! #vaccines #control #conspiracy

OPINION

Jason Statham must have a movie checklist that includes "drive fast cars," "fight bad guys," and "never smile." Seriously, does he ever take a day off from these ridiculous action flicks? #StathamSticksToWhatHeKnows

OPINION

Gandalf really out here with his "you shall not pass" attitude like he's the ultimate bouncer at a fantasy club #gatekeeper #letusin

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Wow, the past really dropped the ball on predicting flying cars and robot butlers. I guess we'll just have to settle for smartphones and self-driving cars instead. #fail #pastwasthepast

OPINION

Who still reads physical newspapers? I guess they're useful if you run out of wrapping paper for gifts or need a quick reference for ancient history. #OldSchool #NewspaperDinosaur

OPINION

Taylor Swift's new song should be called "Petty Little Lies" because that girl's victim complex is reaching new levels #SwiftiesWho?

OPINION

It should be illegal for Ryan Gosling to walk around looking that hot. Someone call the fire department 🔥 #toohotforcomfort

OPINION

I can't believe Soulja Boy invented the steel drum before the Caribbean islands did #musicalgenius

OPINION

Doug Walker must be pretty disappointed in himself for not living up to his own name and walking more Dougs around. #Fail #WalkTheWalkDoug

OPINION

"Who needs to rely on their zodiac sign for their personality traits when political parties already have that covered? #JustSaying #Astrology"

OPINION

Pineapple on pizza is absolute blasphemy.

OPINION

Looks like God is playing the blame game again, can't own up to creating humanity. Classic move from the Almighty 🙄 #OopsIDidItAgain

OPINION

Just played UNO and realized it's basically a fancy version of flipping a coin to determine the winner. #GamesOfLuck #UNOIsTheRealGamble

OPINION

Handy Manny really be out here exploiting his tools like unpaid interns. They fix everything for him on command with no pay... must be nice! #HandyManny #LazyHandyman

OPINION

French is just a fancy way of saying "let's add at least 5 extra vowels to each syllable." #VowelOverload #CanWeGetSomeConsonantsInHere

OPINION

Why are memes about dancing so boring? It's just the same old shuffle with no twist or surprise ending. It's like watching a movie without a plot or climax. #DanceMemesSnoozefest

OPINION

There's simply no substitute for the crunch and flavor of classic Cheetos. #irreplaceable #snacktime

OPINION

If you think you can stare at a solar eclipse because most of the Sun is covered, you probably also think you can pet a lion because most of its teeth are covered. #commonsensefail

OPINION

Lil Nas X out here playing both Jesus and Satan like he's auditioning for a dual role in a high school play 😂 #HeavenlyHellboy

OPINION

So in the world of Digimon, animals evolve into guns apparently. Talk about taking "be careful, your pets might evolve" to a whole new level. #DigimonLogic #AnimalstoAmmo

OPINION

Imagine making fun of Twitter bots when you're the one who can't even spell "bot" without autocorrect 😂 #BotLivesMatter

OPINION

Maybe if we had a dislike button on social media, some people would finally realize how wrong they are without us having to spell it out for them. #dislikebuttonneeded #justsayno #wrongiswrong

OPINION

It's so easy to make a hit song nowadays, just rhyme "love" with "above" and throw in some autotune 😂 #unoriginalityatitsfinest #popmusic

OPINION

If you think mint ice cream tastes like toothpaste, maybe you should switch to a different brand of toothpaste. #MintyFreshMisconceptions

OPINION

"Mind Flex: the ultimate game of luck where your brain power doesn't matter. Thanks for proving that I have zero control over my 'mind-controlled' ball. 🙄 #fail"

OPINION

Why did the political party hold a picnic? They heard it was a great way to avoid any actual work. #PoliticsSucks #AllSidesAgree

OPINION

Beck's greatest hits: "Loser," "Devil's Haircut," "Jackass," and "Where It's At." At least he found success with his jokes songs. #Beck #OneHitWonders

OPINION

So what you're saying is, the economy is basically just a popularity contest for the stock market? #Econ101 #StocksOverEverything

OPINION

Just went to Dave and Busters and was so disappointed... Turns out they don't actually bust anyone 🙄 #FalseAdvertising #NotImpressed #Disappointed

OPINION

So Johnson and Johnson is a family company, huh? Wonder if they have family discounts on Band-Aids for all those sibling rivalry injuries. #FamilyBusinessGoneWrong

OPINION

Can't believe BB King didn't even own a BB gun. Guess he was too busy playing the blues to worry about shooting cans in the backyard. #MissedOpportunity #BBGunFail

OPINION

If you're always getting offended, who will be there to defend you? Maybe it's time to toughen up and stop taking everything so seriously. #triggered #thickskin

OPINION

Jason Statham's filmography reads like a checklist for ridiculous action film clichés: explosions, car chases, shirtless fight scenes... He's like a walking adrenaline rush on screen. #ActionStarProblems

OPINION

Just tried a spicy soda and now my taste buds need therapy. Who thought mixing heat and fizz was a good idea? Stick to the classics, folks. #nothankyou #spicysoda

OPINION

Speedrunning life be like: wake up, skip breakfast, glitch through traffic, boss battle at work, fast travel home, skip dinner, speedrun bedtime 💤 #LifeSpeedrun